we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
then he tried to convert me to islam
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
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I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
my poor anus
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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