We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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