Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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