I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
