physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
