butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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