I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
