wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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