she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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