How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize