At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize