whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
