Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize