i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
