i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
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you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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