we're blogging at a bar
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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