Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize