Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize