he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize