I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.