Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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