I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
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I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it