Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  You weighed it?

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  (817): Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car? (1-817): You weighed it? http://tfl.nu/lai6
  Replies (37) Good night (22534) Bad night (1679)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete

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  (919): I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete http://tfl.nu/qit9
  Replies (18) Good night (3956) Bad night (582)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.

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  (913): Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns. http://tfl.nu/zzio
  Replies (33) Good night (1257) Bad night (3307)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his

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  (251): Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his http://tfl.nu/lwp2
  Replies (26) Good night (1310) Bad night (6889)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.

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  (407): Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously. http://tfl.nu/nqmc
  Replies (41) Good night (1045) Bad night (6277)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.

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  (912): Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up. http://tfl.nu/ccc0
  Replies (4) Good night (4284) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

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  (413): also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner http://tfl.nu/h4oj
  Replies (4) Good night (2245) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.

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  (260): I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops. http://tfl.nu/sp9a
  Replies (10) Good night (5920) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..

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  (443): I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night.. http://tfl.nu/hua7
  Replies (3) Good night (2127) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex

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  (516): nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex http://tfl.nu/zwof
  Replies (9) Good night (3139) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.

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  (616): Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind. http://tfl.nu/1wb4
  Replies (8) Good night (2301) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour

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  (937): Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour http://tfl.nu/gdsh
  Replies (12) Good night (2461) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.

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  (510): Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation. http://tfl.nu/xoud
  Replies (2) Good night (818) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.

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  (814): Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in. http://tfl.nu/ywt7
  Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.

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  (707): I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed. http://tfl.nu/sn1z
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (164)

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