His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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