I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
