if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
