i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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