You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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