i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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