What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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