how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
