It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sorry about my life...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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