i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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