Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize