I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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