my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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