you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."