i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.