..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.