Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo