Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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