I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
there is another microwave in the elevator.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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