PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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