Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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