in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize