hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize