...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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