The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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