yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?