I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?