pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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