Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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