Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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