ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Randomize
