Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.