you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...