Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.