She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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